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| 'Mind your P's & Q's' 24" X 36" Mixed Media/Oils on Canvas Finished sides, ready to hang $375.00 |
| (let me first say I am sorry that you cannot see all the details in this work, there is a lot going on, little bits to find and discover and inroads to the secret adventure of living a full, vibrant life. This work is one of my all time favorites because of the huge lesson I learned while working on it and also because of the complete abandon and emotional connection to the subject matter itself. Please click on images to enlarge) “Mind your & P’s & Q’s” the story: This came together as I learned about my ability to truly have faith in my inner ability to judge the real, true content of another human beings real character. And then to really trust my intuitions about those truths. Not the words they [people] say. Actions and words must match for trust to form and grow. Learning to use “judgement” for a good use, personal judgement that works for me instead of against me. This is how I made sense of the end of a period in my life I call the “Time of the Yes Man”. I learned to say no to people, places and situations that made me feel bad, before during or after. I stopped trusting everyone first and then stopped expecting them to prove that trust was worthy. I mean I stopped letting my expectations of myself be mirrored onto other people in the world. I expect the best from myself at all times, when I give myself to any situation/person, I give 100%. I give the highest quality of myself to the world, people, work, humanity. I used to expect to get back what I gave away. If any relationship or situation does not lead me back to a place of love and comfort inside myself, then it is not something I need to invest myself into. What I have learned as an adult is: We must go in, to find the way out. Learning what trust is and how to use it in my life without hurting myself and/or others has been a big, hairy, mountain of a lesson. I always said “yes”, wanting to prove to everyone, everything that I was a valuable person. Someone that you would not want to use and then abandon. I wanted people to see my value and stop walking away from it. I wanted to be the one to not be left behind anymore. I did not, at the time, understand the meaning of value. My own value. That it is not what you give, do or sacrifice that creates value in a life. It’s WHO YOU ARE that is the gift, the reward, the magnet for attracting the life you want to live. I wanted a life with less abandonment in it. I started listening to my inner self speak up and see my own accountability in my issues surrounding always being the person that says ”Yes, what more can I do for you?”… so that you will stay, so you will see my value, so you will not leave me?” I can not control anything but me, and people deserve to be trusted a little bit, but watched carefully, for their true language; their actions, speak louder than their words. I now listen to myself and watch my own actions, and those of the people around me, then I decide what/how I feel, and then in turn, how I choose to respond to those issues. I have a strong character, a strong core of steel. (as a child they called it being hard-headed) Today I can say No when I need to, and I can now ask for help when I need it. {another big symptom of being in the throws of the disease of Yes Man-itis, you don’t ask for help, even when you really need it) I am still learning that I am the only one that can forgive myself for not being able to go back in time and change the past. I can only make myself continue to be the best I can be, and as I learn better ways of learning and living, I do better. I am a work in progress, I hope to never finish. Where are the places in your life that need understanding, anger released, joy found, the loss mourned, the wealth spread? Here, this is mine, and I want to share my discovery with you all. Yes it makes me vulnerable, you are seeing a part of my inner adventure, the traps, the old tapes, the new paths taken. I welcome you a thousand times over; stranger, friend, family and/or foe…to see this part of myself. I offer you my transparency, I offer you the secrets that bound me, I offer you my proof of growth, understanding and personal evolution. This is a big work with finished sides, ready to hang and full of energy, good positive energy, full of unconditional love, for myself and those I come into contact with. This work has tons of text on it, some hidden, some right in your face, and it takes time to take it all in. I think it’s best to hang this work at eye level, and in a place people can walk up to it so it’s easier to read all of it. It also has hidden found objects inside the work, and a cracked glaze finish that is hard to see in this photo. I hope you enjoy it. May you have a wonderful day that brings you closer to your own inner truths, understandings and self love. (with a whole heart) Heather |
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